Today I did the dumbest thing at work. I wanted to photocopy one of our ultrasound photos to put in the journal I've been keeping. I made the copy but somehow a second was made (that I didn't know about and therefore left on the copier). Luckily, a friend at work saw it and brought it to me and she is someone I trust to not share the news with anyone. But it brought up all of these feelings that I hadn't previously thought about. What will it be like to tell people I am pregnant? When will I do it? If I wait until I am comfortable with the pregnancy, I won't tell them until this baby is born. I also feel embarrassed about what happened. I honestly don't feel like I did anything wrong or could have prevented L's death, but I feel like a total failure. My body let her down. I let her down. And getting back to sharing our news with people, it makes me feel like they will think, "Oh, she's pregnant again. I wonder if that is a good idea? I wonder if she'll lose this baby as well?" I am sure they have more important stuff to think about, but this is just one of my fears. A minor one, but a fear nonetheless.