Monday, August 28, 2017

Groundhog Day

We've been home for a month, which is hard to believe.  We repainted the inside of the house, installed wood floors in rooms where we previously had carpet, and are only now back in our house (we had to live with my parents while the floors were being done).  Truthfully, this past month has been utterly exhausting, even though I'm thrilled with how the house looks.  B's sleeping is a total mess (more on that in a separate post) so we are all exhausted.

I have been back to acupuncture a few times and have had two sessions of Mayan abdominal massage, which also includes a regular massage, which I thoroughly enjoy.

And over the weekend, this happened:

You all know that I know better than to get excited.  I told R that I'd had a positive test and he just said, "okay."  We are both carrying on as if it didn't happen.  I had a HCG beta drawn today, as well as progesterone, so we'll see where those are tomorrow.

In any event, I feel silly even writing about this because I've had so many failed pregnancies.  I feel like a broken record or the girl who cried wolf.  But somewhere, deep down inside of me, I feel the tiniest glimmer of hope.  I don't want to let myself feel it, but I do.

So there it is. My August update.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

And.... we're back!

Just like that, we are back in the United States.  We were gone for seven months and traveled, literally, around the world heading west.  We're back in Colorado now and settling into our home, having some renovations done, and trying to get B to understand that this time "home" actually means our real home where we'll stay for quite awhile.  She seems confused, which isn't surprising.

Being home also means I'm thinking more about next steps for trying to get pregnant again.  I've been feeling well for the last two cycles and am enjoying such feeling like me for the first time in awhile.  Tomorrow I have an appointment with my RE followed by an introductory visit with an herbalist and massage therapist who specializes in fertility.  It sounds a bit odd, but I'm willing to try anything and refuse to leave a stone unturned -- it's that glimmer of hope that is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to infertility.  I'm also going to get back on my acupuncturist's calendar.   I know I'm nearing a time when this door will close for permanently but I'll be damned if I don't do everything possible before then.

In any event, we'll see what happens.  I'm happy to be home.