- I'm halfway into my first cycle on Clomid. The Clomid didn't affect me at all. I was particularly worried because my father-in-law knows how to push my buttons and I didn't want to be emotionally a wreck around him but I actually felt quite good. I'm very thankful for that knowing what some friends have experienced while taking Clomid.
- Since we were traveling, I couldn't be monitored at all so I have no idea if it did any good and we couldn't draw day 3 labs. Next cycle we will if that happens before we leave for our trip.
- Dr. A did draw my AMH the last time I was in and it was 0.23. I know this is still a terrible number, but mine has always been undetectable (which I am told means below 0.1) so I'm taking that as a positive sign, even if the improvement is infinitesimal. We'll check FSH and do a follicle count with the next cycle.
- I have no expectation that I'll get pregnant this cycle, but I'm feeling good, I had EWCM, and according to the OPKs, I ovulated.
- If I hadn't miscarried this spring, I'd be due now. I'm having a harder time with this than I expected.
- Every one of our friends in Boston seems to have just had a 2nd or 3rd baby, is pregnant with a 2nd or 3rd, or already has 3 children. When did 3 become the new 2?
- We had dinner with friends who we don't keep in touch with regularly who have a daughter 4 months younger than B. They had trouble getting pregnant with #1 but she surprised us and is 6 months pregnant with #2. I always thought of them as our friends who might, like us, just have one, and who understood what a struggle having a family could be. I know two babies don't erase that struggle, but seeing her pregnant belly made me have a minor meltdown.
- I may finally be accepting that pregnancy will never be an easy topic for me and will always trigger jealousy and other unpleasant emotions and I probably just need to figure out how to manage and accept those feelings. I thought I might feel differently after having B, but it isn't entirely true.
To end on a happy note, I LOVE the holiday season and B is SO excited about Christmas, the tree, snow, candy canes, stars, etc. Even though we are running around like crazy trying to get everything ready to leave for a year, it is going to be a great holiday season.