and everything nice!
It turns out our little nugget (I'm still working on a nickname) is a little girl! After asking my doctor's office to mail my results on Friday, I then made my husband call back and ask for them to tell us over the phone. The office was so confused that they called me to be sure this was okay and just told me on the phone: "The results show that the fetus is female." So typical of the doctor's office to make the best announcement into something so clinical.
A little girl!
A little sister for L.
And that was when I started crying on the phone. The poor nurse who called to share the results...
They were tears of joy and tears of sadness. I am thrilled we are having a girl. I would have been thrilled about having a boy, too, of course, but I'm so very excited. And I'm also really sad. I'm sad that we don't already have a daughter that this new little baby could meet. I worry that this pregnancy is like my last one and that everything is going to go catastrophically wrong after going so well in the beginning.
But mostly, I am just really, really excited. I imagine what this Christmas will be like as I will likely be induced a few days after Christmas. And I imagine a New Year's Eve with our new little girl, unlike last year when I was induced and R and I spent the night separately waiting for our stillborn baby to arrive. I feel guilty about letting myself get excited, but then I love how happy this little baby makes me feel.
This may be the most incoherent post that I've written, but my feelings are pretty jumbled and that my worried about "jinxing" this pregnancy will not go away, no matter how often I tell myself that there is nothing I can do to make things go well other than what the doctors instruct me to do.
And just in case you missed it (and because I love saying/writing it)... a GIRL!