Tuesday, November 15, 2016

A Visit to the Reproductive Endocrinologist

Yesterday I visited with a RE for the first time since I was pregnant with Baby B.  I had an appointment with her in August, but then she switched practices so this was the first I could see her, which is a bummer since I now will only have one (maybe two) cycles before we leave for our trip.   I knew when we planned our trip that I was giving up pursuing aggressive fertility treatments and I just need to be at peace with that.

Back to the appointment.  Dr. A agreed that aggressive IVF is really not going to work for me since IVF is a numbers game and I'm not likely to get many eggs and the ones I get are likely to be poor quality.  I'm not really interested in IVF from a mental or physical perspective anyway.  What she was willing to try and thought was worth a shot (and is not that expensive, which is a nice bonus), is doing one cycle on Clomid and then one cycle on Clomid + injectibles depending on how I feel and respond the firs time around.  We leave for Thanksgiving on Friday for a week, so Clomid is my only option this cycle since I'll be in Boston and can't be monitored.  So, today is cycle day 1 and on Thursday I'll start taking Clomid.

I've heard terrible things about how it can make you feel, but my RE said the side effects are akin to menopausal symptoms.   For those of you who have taken Clomid, how did it make you feel?  Hopefully I'll be able to keep me s*it together while we are back east with family and friends.  

If I manage to have a normal-ish cycle after this one, I'll have one more chance before we leave to do a Clomid + injectibles cycle that is monitored and maybe do an IUI.

The odds of success are seriously low (less than 5%). I have to laugh at that because, seriously, that is  basically zero.  Not quite, but basically,  But here we go.  I know I won't regret trying but I will regret not trying (and am already regretting not making this appointment happen sooner).  

By the way, I love Dr. A (she just joined so new practice name and website are forthcoming - male Dr. A who works there is fantastic, too).  She sat down and talked with me for 45 minutes.  She came out to the lobby to meet me herself, which has *never* happened before.  She answered all of my questions.  She was thoughtful, compassionate, clear in her explanations, and realistic.  I cannot recommend her enough if you are in Colorado and I, literally, have been to every fertility clinic in the greater Denver area.      

For those of you (if there are any) who are reading this and still hoping, praying, yearning, and trying for your first baby, may I just say that I so vividly recall those feelings of desperation and returning to the RE brought them all flooding back.  I even commented to Dr. A how differently it felt being there with a living, breathing child at home but that the overwhelming sadness and hopelessness is a feeling I can always dredge up again.  My heart aches for another child, but there is no doubt that having B at home makes this process more bearable.  I really hope I'm not writing anything offensive or hurtful -- what I want to convey is that my heart just goes out to those still yearning for #1 because it is different.  There were two couples in the waiting room yesterday who had children with them and while I was able to smile and joke with them a bit, I noticed another couple sitting nearby and I thought the woman was going to burst into tears at any second.  I vividly recall being in RE waiting rooms and thinking HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THEY ALLOW PEOPLE TO BRING CHILDREN HERE?   It just seemed so cruel.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

8 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your plan. Having lived with the low, low odds for some years, I'm mostly used to them, but sometimes think about how it would feel, hypothetically, to be able to get pregnant when I felt like it.....and it kind of boggles my mind. But then I carry on with reality as I know it.

    I've done 2 cycles on Clomid and no horror stories to tell. A couple things that may or may not be related: change in sleep patterns: I wake up very early, and by mid afternoon/early evening very tired. It's pretty challenging to do anything involving concentration or physical effort in the evenings. Also, nausea seems worse. I get nauseated from stress and anxiety anyway but since starting the Clomid it feels more severe. But I can't say for sure if those things are related to the drug; they could easily be stress or lifestyle or other things. I would suggest not to over worry about the side effects as everybody is different.

    Wishing you lots of luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really interesting about the different side effects it can have. We'll see if it does any good.

      Delete
  2. Someone has to be in the 5%, and I am really hoping this time it's you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Clomid made me SO EMOTIONAL. I logically knew it was the clomid messing with my hormones, but that didn't stop me from crying uncontrollably at the drop of a hat. Are you on HRT?? Interestingly enough, my first cycle with clomid + injectibles my estrogen got up to the 900's a week or so after I started the injectibles whereas my second cycle my estrogen didn't even break 100. I think 'estrogen priming' - aka being on HRT leading into the cycle really helped and I'm just disappointed it was my first cycle and I didn't know well enough to ask to stim longer than just 4 days.

    I am gearing up to try an IVF cycle in the spring and I am hoping and praying that the stronger drugs will get me some follicles. We shall see. Good luck with your cycles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amber, I am not on HRT at the moment because I'm symptom free and having cycles. Really interesting thought about estrogen priming, though. I'll talk that over with my RE. It turns out the Clomid really didn't make me feel anything, so I'll count myself thankful for that. Good luck this spring!

      Delete
  4. I have never used Clomid, but I hope the experience isn't too bad for you and that you are able to find success with it. I hope you and your family are having a great Thanksgiving.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You, too! What a joyous holiday for you with your new little one at home. Just thrilled for your family.

      Delete

 
SITE DESIGN BY DESIGNER BLOGS