Thursday, June 16, 2016

Chin Up!

I'm not sure what has changed since my last two posts, but I'm happy to report that I'm feeling much better. The malaise that has been hanging over me since my miscarriage has, for the most part, lifted.  I've decided that despite the horrible test results I got, I'm not giving up on my body.  I refuse to believe that I can go from regular cycles to menopause with one miscarriage, even if that makes me a fool.

So, I'm back on all of my supplements, the herbs recommended by my acupuncturist, and I'm going to see my OB next week about hormone replacement therapy (HRT).  I'm also going to see a local NP who specializes in natural HRT.  If I'm going to start pumping my body full of hormones, I'm going to do some research first.

Whether it is the shift in my attitude or an actual change in my body or the herbs/supplements, I haven't had a hot flash in two weeks and my other symptoms have gone away.  Like writing in the early days of pregnancy, I feel like a fool for publishing this post in some ways.  I know what my numbers are.  I know what the odds are of ever getting pregnant.  And I know that I'm in perimenopause.  But I'm not giving up.

In the meantime, how could I stay sad too long with this sassy, adorable one in my life? 

I also ran another marathon last weekend.  While I have always enjoyed running and have never had an issue with mental toughness, in the two races I've done this year, I've had absolute mental collapses around mile 18.  I become really negative, I've shed tears (crying and running do not go well together), and I've questioned whether I can finish (even though there is no doubt than I can physically).  I've concluded that marathoning is something I am really not enjoying right now, so I'm taking a break.  I'm still going to run, but I'm going to do more pilates and swimming and mountain biking and things that I'm actually enjoying.

So, that's the update.  Call me crazy for not just throwing in the towel, but I'm just trying to keep things real and honest on this blog.  So there it is.

13 comments:

  1. I just wanna give you a big fist bump and hug, and also grab a beer with you, because this internet thing has me really liking you. :) Life is hard. (and so is death...) Right here with ya. And just up and ran a marathon? Man. You are impressive!

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    1. You are so sweet. I would LOVE a fist bump and a hug and, always, a BEER. Could we sit outside now that it is summer? I'm in Chicago next Monday if you actually want to meet :)

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    2. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I didn't see this or I would have absolutely, without question met you for a beer! Darcy!!! I'm so bummed. But I re-read this post and then I remembered I commented, and so I looked. And here this is. Any chance you'll be in Reno? Hah. Maybe Tahoe? San Francisco? Shoot!

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  2. yay you! I'm glad you are feeling better. It's so hard to know exactly what is up with your body; if your intuition tells you to hope, then I wouldn't argue with that. And wow you are so strong and in shape to do all those activities!

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    1. Aww, thanks for the encouragement. I'm going with hope for now. It may not last long, but for now it is making me feel better. We shall see.

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  3. I will join Brandy in fist-bumping! Glad you are feeling better and more positive. Hope, hope, hoping for you.

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    1. Thanks so much, Heather. I was reading your blog last night and need to get over there to comment (hate commenting from my phone). I really appreciate the encouragement.

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  4. So glad to hear your feeling better, mentally and physically. What marathon did you do? Take a break until London ;)
    Always, always keeping fingers and toes crossed for the very best for you

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    1. LONDON! Yes! Fingers crossed for the lottery. I ran the Revel Rockies here in Denver. All downhill and SO terrible. Eek.

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  5. Glad to hear your spirits are up! And I would never call you crazy for not throwing in the towel.

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    1. Thanks :) I suspect a lot of people might, so I'm glad you don't. What do we have if not faith and hope that things *might* be different...

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