Monday, June 8, 2015

Shared Experiences

We've had a bit too much going on at home lately, so I have had little to no time to myself and hence no time to blog. My husband ruptured his achilles and has been on crutches for the last 6 weeks (2 more weeks to go).  I am now even more in awe of single parents or those of you with a spouse who is deployed or away for long periods of time.  It is hard to be the sole caregiver for a baby (and to take care of an injured adult on top of that).

If you haven't seen Sheryl Sandberg's post on Facebook about losing her husband, check it out.  Her thoughts and advice and experience with such a tremendous loss will likely resonate.  I particularly related to her loathing of the question "How are you?"  I used to want to scream at people who asked me that.  And I also loved how she said  the following:

"Option A is not available.  So let's just kick the shit out of Option B."

When I catch myself thinking of Option A (Lemon), I let myself dream of what she would be like, but also remind myself how utterly amazing it is that we have Blythe.  I wouldn't want to think of her as Option B, but you know what I mean... arriving at B was not what we planned, but it certainly is sweet.

On a completely separate subject, I've had two people in the last few weeks approach me to talk about their losses. The first was a woman with whom I connected through our acupuncturist who lost her baby at 30 weeks due to a cord accident. The second is a woman with whom I work who stopped by my desk sobbing last week.  Her daughter-in-law (who also works at our company) had just found out at 20 weeks that her baby had anencephaly and they had to terminate the pregnancy.  I don't know this woman, but she knew I had been through something similar and just wanted to talk.  It just broke my heart and it stirred up so many crazy emotions and sent me running home early to snuggle B.  Every day I am so thankful for her.  Speaking of work, I still haven't figured out working less or asking for reduced hours.  I plan to do something about it this week, but thank you all for your thoughts and feedback on the subject.

**********************************

B, by the way, is SO big!  I'm sure she is still in the 30th percentile somewhere, but she seems just huge to me!  She is rolling over like crazy (I still panic when I see her sleeping on her stomach in the monitor), talking constantly, and just so much fun.   She also has, in my wholly biased opinion, the best hair.



11 comments:

  1. The Sheryl Sandberg post is very moving. It is hard to consider a profound loss, to hear others talk about it, and most of all to live it. But it's important to do so. Although I have not lost someone so close to me I know others that have and I feel like I must not look away or pretend that such experiences are not real or don't happen. So I'm glad you shared that.

    Blythe's hair is awesome! did you brush it up like that or does it stick up on its own? Nakey photos are so cute. Well all baby photos are, but all that beautiful skin and just...beauty. I'm glad you have found a healing happiness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For the fun stuff first - Blythe's hair does that all on its own! I brush it down sometimes, but it pops back up. You are so right about the healing happiness... B definitely is that.

      As for the Sheryl Sandberg piece, so glad it resonated with you. It is so much easier to look away or ignore what has happened (and to think that is probably what the person suffering the loss wants you to do), but they probably want it discussed and acknowledged. She definitely writes eloquently about loss.

      Delete
  2. Sheryl's post was beautiful. BEAUTIFUL.

    B's getting huge! I understand the rolling over fears. When our B first started rolling over in his crib, we would go in and roll him over. Repeatedly. Just about all night. We were in such fear. He was even on the Angelcare. There's just so much fear involved in being a parent who has previously lost a child. xo

    So nice seeing B's chubby little cuteness again (30% what! She looks big to me, but my kids are also "small").

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fear will always be there, I suspect. I'm getting more comfortable with the stomach sleeping, but I wish she loved her back instead!

      She looks big to me, too! Maybe I'll be surprised at her 6 month appointment and she will have grown a ton.

      Delete
  3. I hope hubby is having a smooth and quick recovery now that (based on the date of this post, anyway!) he is off crutches. I can't imagine how hard it must have been with having him sidelined a bit. And cute pictures of B - her hair is too funny/cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for asking - he is doing better. He is finally off crutches and now walking without a boot. It was definitely a rough patch at our house!

      Delete
  4. Yes!!! That hair is amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  5. THE HAIR!!!! LOVE IT!!!! My little one is small for her age as well (15th percentile in height and 30th in weight) but I keep thinking she is huge. I think it is mommy brain!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right? And people are always saying "Oh, she is so big." Well, not really. But whatever!

      Delete
    2. Right? And people are always saying "Oh, she is so big." Well, not really. But whatever!

      Delete

 
SITE DESIGN BY DESIGNER BLOGS