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| This is how I feel about motherhood. It's overwhelming how much I love our little nugget. |
And it just isn't feeling like enough.
As a lawyer, I don't have the kind of job that can be shared with someone else so I can't just go part-time (the work arises when it does and often cannot be pushed off for a day or two). But I am productive and focused when I am at work and I think I could get my work done in a shorter period of time, which would allow me to see more of B. Right now I am considering asking to work 8 to 3 and to finish up anything that needs to get done urgently after B goes to bed.
I'm wondering if any of you have asked for reduced hours or a big change in your work situation? Do you have any suggestions for how best to approach the conversation?
One thing I keep reminding myself is that I'll never know what is possible unless I ask. The answer may be "no," but it may not be.
And the following quote reminded me why finding the balance that works for me is so very important. I don't want to lose myself, but what matters most to my heart is spending time with B.
By the way, both of these posters are from the artist Susan O'Malley who did an amazing project where she asked people on the street to give the advice they thought their 80-year-old self would give. I love the responses. In heart-wrenching news, she passed away in March at 39 weeks pregnant with twins and lost both of her girls, too. I cannot even imagine how her husband is surviving.
That is heart wrenching.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to seeing what ypu decide about the job. I think it's smart to give it a month before deciding.
Thanks, Julia. It's been 6 weeks and I have some ideas... post to come!
DeleteWhere I work, we do have a "Flexible Work Schedule" Policy but in my department (Finance) it is like an act of Congress to get a major schedule overhaul approved. Small changes, for instance if you want to modify your work schedule from 8 to 4:30 to 8:30 to 5 are easy. But friends of mine who have proposed changes like working a day from home, or working longer hours during the week for a half day on Fridays, have had to write up proposals and get them approved through everyone in their chain (Manager, Director, CFO) and HR. The proposals had to include how they would handle managing their direct reports, how they would manage month end, how they could call in for meetings, etc. And the approval process was SLOW. But we have other departments, such as Customer Service, that can get these changes approved easily. So in my company it really just depends on which department you are in and how the Senior VP of that department views modified work schedules. Some are more open to it than others.
ReplyDeleteIt is SO department-specific, isn't it? Sounds like a terrible process in your department.
DeleteI feel like a lot of the type of work you do comes into play when asking for work/schedule changes. For example, people who manage others seem to have a much more difficult time in my company asking for these types of things, as well as people that serve IT roles, communications, roles, etc. For me? A lot of my role is VERY individualized to just ME. I get my piece of the puzzle done with very little input from others, and then off it goes to someone else. All of it can be accomplished by email. So when I had the conversation with my manager about my plan, it wasn't that far of a stretch. I suppose it also helps that my company preaches personal well-being as an initiative, and when I told him that truthfully, my two-hour-a-day commute makes me ANGRY, and once my baby arrives? It's only gonna piss me off more. My well-being? It wouldn't be good.
ReplyDeleteSo I basically told him that I'd like to work from home two days a week--so that I wouldn't have to rot in traffic for nothing at least twice a week, and I could maybe spend those 4 extra hours with my baby. So far almost 18 months in, it's been fine. Granted, I work in a workplace where people do things like this all the time (they go to school, there's client travel, etc.), so it's not a stretch. It's not like I'm the only one who's not in the office twice a week. But I think coming at it from a well-being perspective might also help?
This sounds like a great approach and seems like it worked out really well for you. I don't manage people and people here travel a fair bit, so not being at my desk isn't that odd. I need to figure out what I want and ask!
DeleteI wish I had some kind of advice, but I dont. I just want to wish you luck with approaching this topic at work. I hope that you get the time that you and your daughter deserve.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Krystal. Me, too...
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