Friday, April 17, 2015

Working for the Weekend

Happy Friday!  This one is especially happy since it is my first week back at work and I am counting the minutes until I can go home and snuggle with B (6 hours, 14 minutes).  B is home with a nanny who I think it taking wonderful care of her.  I suppose I have to trust my instincts on this one (and my husband's, since we hired her), but it is SO hard to leave her at home with someone who I really do not know well, no matter that she had great references and we loved her in her interview.  Any advice on this one?  I told my husband I wanted to install a nanny cam and he officially thinks I am off my rocker and has warned me not to frighten the nanny away.

The emotions of this first week back are intense.  Truthfully, it feels really nice to get up, shower, blow dry my hair, and go to work!  I get a coffee on the way, I get a lot done, I converse with adults, and I have some freedom and feel a bit more like myself.  I try to squeeze in a workout and to remember what I am like as an individual rather than just who I am as a Mom.  And I have some time to catch up on blogging and reading other blogs (I am sure my employer would be thrilled to hear that).

But, I spend a great deal of my day thinking about B.  What is she up to?  When can we snuggle?  Will she be awake when I am home?  What are she and the nanny up to?  Is she happy?  Is she being properly cared for?  Will she resent me for not having stayed home with her?  The list goes on and on...

B will be four months old next week and we are having so much fun together so I just hate missing out on things.  She has rolled over a few times and laughs and smiles and loves being read to and sung to. And I am not there to see it happen.  This weekend we are taking her swimming for the first time. I cannot wait.

I know we all struggle with these emotions and there is a completely other side of them for those of us who stay home with our babies full-time.  I knew it would be hard, but perhaps not *this* hard.  Any thoughts or advice from those of you who have been doing this longer?

Crazy hair!




8 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. She does have very blue eyes! People keep asking if we think they'll stay that way, which confuses me to no end (how would I know?). But I hope they do!

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  2. So good to see an update! I was thinking about you recently because I remember you read "It Starts With The Egg" and wrote a review on it. I had to reread your review before deciding whether to get it for myself or not (I did get it.)
    Anyway, I hope that you adjust to being back to work quickly and it goes smooth. I hope that you and B are able to adjust quickly to this new routine and that your emotions even out. It's a change for sure - wishing you lots of strength as you work through it all. And BTW I love B's hair.

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    Replies
    1. I'm going to head over and read your review. The book made me question everything in my house, but I did think it prompted some good changes (not just some crazy ones - bless my husband for being so patient with me as I got rid of everything plastic in our house).

      We love her hair, too. It just sticks up that way naturally - no assistance or brushing from me!

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