Monday, May 19, 2014

Beta #3

I made a big mistake and took another one of those Clearblue Advanced Pregnancy Test with Weeks Estimator tests last week.  Despite me already having had a HCG beta at 417 (which should trigger the "2+ weeks according to this study), I still got 1-2 weeks, which caused me to panic and head in for Beta #3 last Thursday.

Thankfully, it looked great at 1727!  I threw out the remaining weeks estimator test because they do nothing but induce panic.  Unfortunately, I can't have my six week scan to look for a heartbeat until the Tuesday morning after Memorial Day, I'm keeping busy this week (taking all of your advice), getting exercise (the photo above was taken on a trail run/hike), and planning a getaway with my husband for the long weekend.  I'm very tempted to go back in this week for another beta...

My mood has been dramatically better since the two good beta results last week.  I feel more like myself than I have since L died.  I both love how I feel and am terrified -- I know how low the low will be if this doesn't work out and that is so scary.  I love feeling like myself (or close to it) for the first time in months.  Don't get me wrong - I don't, for one second, assume this will work out, that I'll have a healthy and live baby, etc. - but the glimmer of hope has shifted my mood dramatically and I fear the swing the other way.

In the meantime, I finished The Goldfinch and moved onto Delicious by Ruth Reichl, which is a light-hearted, easy, fun read -- just what I need.


  1. So happy to hear your betas are rising well, and even happier you threw out that last test! You do not need the stress! I stopped testing once I got my second beta and so glad I did. Those hpts are not 100% accurate or consistent so they can just mess with your head.

    Everything is crossed for you for your first scan! I completely understand your fear. I've already had one scan and my next one is tomorrow and I'm terrified. It's unfair that we can never rest easy and just enjoy being pregnant, but it is possible this time could be different. I'm holding on to that! All we can do is go on blind faith. I'm glad you're feeling hope too. With hope, anything is possible.

    Big hug hon! Hang in there!

  2. Confession - I went in again today! Numbers are rising (over 13,000 today) but this is IT until the ultrasound. Thank you re: the first scan. I hope your goes well tomorrow -- everything crossed here as well. I, too, am holding on to the idea that things could be different....

  3. Yay!!! So glad your betas are looking so good!!! Looking forward to hearing @ your u/s on Tuesday!!!

  4. Thanks, Leslie. I am SO nervous. I need to remember that mid-morning or afternoon appointments are really torturous and try my best to get in first thing in the morning...

  5. So glad you threw them away! I worry too, even though like you, I know it doesn't do anything! Did you test before your 1st beta and do you recommend doing this??? Had 3 transferred on day 3 last saturday. FIVE more days of waiting seems impossible.