Wednesday, December 28, 2016

A Birthday and a Heartbeat

We went in Tuesday morning for an ultrasound.  I was terrified and on the way in to the office, R said, "Are you nervous? I thought we were just pretending this wasn't happening so that we wouldn't get upset if it didn't work out." I was incredulous -- MEN!  Sure, I said that, but did he really think I haven't been thinking about this baby every other minute since my positive pregnancy test?

Anyway, I couldn't look at the screen and finally Susie (the sonographer who I know well) said, "D, you should look" and I could see the tiny flicker of a heartbeat on the screen.

I felt a rush of relief and have now let myself consider the possibility that things could work out.

It's super late here and I'm exhausted.  We are frantically packing and organizing our house, running errands, switching cell phone providers, etc. in preparation for our departure next week.  I now am adding to that list to figure out health insurance and how to get Lovenox in New Zealand, Sydney and/or Japan, and probably in Europe.  Thrilled to have this problem, of course...

The positive ultrasound and a good workout yesterday gave me a little boost that I've needed this week, plus today is B's SECOND BIRTHDAY!   The 30th is the anniversary of L's death and it is definitely weighing on me, but B had so much fun decorating cupcakes with her friends, singing the happy birthday song over and over, opening a few presents, and toting her balloons all around the house that it lifted my spirits immensely.  I'm going to steal an idea from a fellow baby loss Mom and run 3 miles on the 30th for the 3rd anniversary of L's death.  
  

B enjoying her balloons immensely. Please ignore the total mess that is/was our office and is now the repository for items that still need to be packed.  Our house is a disaster!

10 comments:

  1. Lots of love to all your babies.

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  2. Great news! Happy new year and safe travels.

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    1. Thanks! Its hard to believe that travel time is here... but it is exciting.

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  3. Hope you continue to have good news. Or no need, which is in essence, good news.

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    1. Thanks, Heather. I agree... the funny thing is that I am so used to extensive monitoring that I'm going to just have to figure out how to not have it. I'd be getting weekly ultrasounds if I were home, but instead I'm just assuming things are carrying on as they should be and going to the beach. Such is life.

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  4. So happy to read you got great news at the ultrasound and fingers are crossed that it keeps coming. And, Happy Belated Birthday to B. She's adorable.
    PS, I'm jealous of all your lovely Instagram beach pictures, especially since we got 14 inches of snow dumped on us last weekend!

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    1. I must be honest: I am not missing snow at all. Come to Hawaii!

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  5. Oh my gosh! I've been away for a while, but so happy to come back and read this amazing news! Congrats! Hope things are going well. So much going on for you!

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    1. Julia, unfortunately it isn't going to end well for us. I've been anxiously following your exciting news and look for new posts all the time. So very excited for you.

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