Today I turn 36. After Chelsey's death, I promised myself I would celebrate birthdays every year from here on out, so I'm doing it. R brought my breakfast and coffee in bed, I read to B all morning and came to work late, and tonight we are celebrating with friends. I'm trying not to let myself dwell on the fact that even if I didn't have POF/POI as a diagnosis, I am now firmly in the "advanced maternal age camp."
Things have slowly been improving in terms of emotions and hormones. I appear to be having another normal cycle (are you sick of hearing about my cycles yet?) and I'm feeling good. I found a nurse practitioner who specializes in menopause in Denver (Cece Huffnagle) who is fantastic and has been incredibly helpful. We talked through making sure I'm comfortable (e.g., stopping hot flashes, helping with dryness, regulating the emotional swings) without preventing the possibility of pregnancy. She prescribed a cream for me to use that is super low dose and has helped and also is having me take progesterone every day from ovulation until cycle. If, miraculously, I fertilized an egg, I likely wouldn't be producing enough progesterone to support the pregnancy so this would help. There isn't any harm in taking it, so I'm doing it. And I'm still continuing with all of the herbs and supplements.
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| "Kiss. Pumpkins." |
We are slowly planning our trip! We leave for Kauai on January 2nd. It's amazing how much more tolerable coming to work is each day now that I have an end date. I'm also taking my time in the mornings, reading longer with B, hanging out for a bit with her and our nanny (who I love), and having coffee with R. Anyway, that is the not-so-exciting update from here. I'm so glad it is fall. B will be a flamingo for Halloween (she is obsessed) and loves kissing pumpkins (on anyone's porch or in anyone's garden). She has so many words and she constantly amazes me with the new phrases she says. She's obsessed with reading (particularly Toot & Puddle, Olivia, and "Higher Higher"). I couldn't love this girl more!
Happy birthday! I like your resolution to celebrate all birthdays. We are only here for a little while and all time is precious.
ReplyDeleteI get to say goodbye to 36 in a few months. Not too excited about 37 (I don't like prime numbers) but lots to be thankful in life. It sounds like there is reason to be optimistic about your cycles. It's interesting to read about someone with a similar situation and compare.
I couldn't agree more. We should start a joint blog all about our cycles so we can keep each other updated :) I have high hopes for both of us. You just never know.
DeleteHaha! The joint blog is a possibility, just saying. It's kind of exciting to never know wtf my cycle will do. Anything could happen! Well at least I try to look at it that way.
DeleteAnd kissing pumpkins! Adorable. It's so amusing to see their interests develop.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it adorable? She wants to kiss them on anyone's front porch, though, and I don't know that people want a random toddler on their lawn/porch. Guess we'll find out.
DeleteI would love it hahahaha!
DeleteHappy belated! I hope your afternoon and evening were as nice as your morning. Birthday celebrations are much deserved! And your B is so cute - I hope you share a flamingo picture with us as well! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I totally will :) And thanks for the birthday wishes.
DeleteHappy belated. I'm so glad you celebrated with friends and family. Your trip is coming up so quickly, i can't wait to follow along!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amber. It IS coming up quickly and the plans are coming together. I can't wait to share.
DeleteHappy belated birthday! I can't wait to see a flamingo photo (SB calls them "flingo" - she tends to compress words with more than two syllables).
ReplyDeleteFlingo! B refers to them 'mingos :) What will SB be?
DeleteMingos! I'm sure B and SB would get along well - please come and visit if you happen to travel through Scandinavia!
DeleteWe don't really do Halloween here - the dress-up season is Carnival, usually in February, so we'll have to wait for that. This year she was a minion.
Hope you had a wonderful birthday. Are you on Instagram? I'd love to follow you (I'm brandywilson if you're stealth). That picture of B kissing pumpkins is darling. You have such a way about photography. I love all the pictures you post.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks so much for linking me to that Halloween costume! I'm TOTALLY stealing it because we have the exact umbrellas already and all I need is about an hour of taping and some lights from Hobby Lobby!
Glad you were celebrating. It seems like the opposite thing you WANT to be doing after death of your daughter and your best friend and a recent miscarriage. It seems impossible, but it doesn't mean streamers and fireworks. It simply means just what you're doing now with traveling and loving deeply. Sending you all the birthday love. We're both October babes! Just celebrated me last Monday. :)
I on on instagram and I just started following you (@darcyeden). You are so right about celebrating... it doesn't mean what it might have meant in, say, my 20s, but it is what I can do right now. I'm happy I'm alive, I have a beautiful if incomplete family, and we have a great adventure ahead.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday to you, too!!