Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Take a Deep Breath

I am a little bit pregnant.

After a few positive tests at home over the weekend, I had a blood test yesterday morning.  My HCG beta came back (approximately 13-14 DPO) at 48.  It isn't a great number.  It is definitely in the range of "normal," but I of course would have preferred something above 100 and it is has left me scouring the internet for what is normal, what affects beta results, stories about initial low betas that double appropriately and result in a successful pregnancy, etc.

I am scared.  And thrilled.  And anxious.

Can I actually publish this post? If I do, and I speak the words out loud, will the baby be taken away from me just for daring to think it could be true?

What I know is that R is traveling for work again and I feel like I can't tell many people who know me in person, and I need to put this out into the world.

So there it is.


  1. Eeeeee!! Cautiously hopeful with and for you! You have to be a little bit pregnant to get to a lot bit pregnant. So small steps. Yay for little victories. deep breaths.

  2. Well you know what, you did it. You posted it and it probably feels good to let it out. Whatever outcome (hoping a carseat full and new baby glory), you're pregnant now and we celebrate. :) So congrats!!!!

    1. Aww, thanks. You are right. I did put it out there. I figure that, no matter what happens and when, I'll need support. Thanks :)

  3. Wow, that was fast! I very much hope you'll be more and more pregnant for the next 8ish months. Deep breaths, and one step at a time.

  4. I smiled at Caroline's comment. A little bit pregnant to get a a lot but pregnant. Fingers crossed!! Glad you out this out there, definitely a benefit of blogging anonymously.

  5. Oh wow! Very good news! I'm a bit behind in my reading so sorry this is so late :) Hoping for more good news after your next beta.