36 Weeks

I had a good cry tonight reading the archives on a blog that I follow.  The woman lost her baby to a cord accident and while I had read her story before, re-reading it tonight made me incredibly emotional.  It really touched a nerve as to the things that have me worried this week... is my placenta going to hold up this time?  Will we have a cord accident? Placental abruption?  Unknown issue that causes this baby's death?  My mind is definitely working on overdrive here and not in a good way.

On the other hand, here we are!  36 weeks.  My induction is scheduled for a week from tomorrow at 8 AM.  I may meet my little girl in a week.  Tonight my husband and I were both talking to her.  He suggested that we call her Meatball (ha) and asked her what she thought.  It seems like we are so close to having her in our arms.

Tomorrow morning we have our carseat check (first we have to actually install it) and we are finally going to put together the crib and the dresser and get the baby's room organized.  After L, I swore that if we ever had another baby, I wouldn't do anything until he or she arrived and would just have a friend or my parents bring us a carseat in the hospital.  I felt that way until about a month ago when the urge to prepare and nest kicked in and I just could not help myself.  Now I just want the room set up so I can feel like we are prepared in the only way I know how to be.

For those of you out there who have experienced a loss and have gone on to have a healthy, living child, how did you handle the anxiety at the end? I'm still exercising and going to acupuncture and I have times when I feel happy and optimistic, but the fear is always there...

36 Weeks - A Headless Bump Shot

Halfway

Sort of giving us a thumbs up?

We are back from an incredibly relaxing and adventurous vacation in the mountains, followed by a productive Labor Day weekend at home where I got so many organizing projects done.  Perhaps I am starting to nest?  I felt this overwhelming urge to sort through all of our closets, get organized, get rid of stuff, etc.

I'm 20 weeks and 5 days along today and we've officially passed the halfway point.  My ultrasound today looked good and baby is measuring 1 day shy of today's date, which I was reassured is just fine and totally normal.

I'd been feeling really great until I weighed myself at the doctor's office today.  One month ago, I weighed NINE pounds less than I do today.  NINE.  I have been eating healthy and exercising a lot (sticking to my 10,000 steps each day or more, still running, etc.) so I am totally befuddled and as much as I know I shouldn't let it bother me (and the doctor said the same thing - she said I looked healthy and that was good enough for her), I am sort of beside myself about it.  I know that excessive weight gain puts you at greater risk for clotting, which is part of why I am worked up about it.... and I just generally like to be healthy and this seems quite unhealthy to me.

To focus on the positive, baby is looking good, and I can feel her kick ALL the time. I love it.  I could sit and stare at my moving stomach all day long... but alas, that is frowned upon in the office.  So, overall a great visit and week.  Below is the first bump shot I've shared.  I think it is finally obvious to everyone that I am pregnant, not just packing on the pounds.  Or maybe I am doing both?