Tuesday, September 23, 2014

My First Freak Out

I know these feelings were/are inevitable, but it has happened.  I'm officially in the midst of feeling very anxious about this pregnancy.  After seeing the high-risk OB on Friday (who was very pleased with how things are looking and not at all worried that our little girl is a little small), I saw my normal OB yesterday.  She noted that while on average (the average of all the measurements taken, baby girl is just 2 days behind (which is normal), her head measurement is quite small.  She (OB) said that if it were the abdomen, they would be worried, but they don't worry with the head and sometimes babies are just small.

Regardless, I am freaking out.  This has (unsurprisingly) led me to Google "small head on baby 23 weeks."  There haven't been any terrifying results (don't tell me if you know of any), but I see this as the beginning of growth restriction, which suggests clotting, so of course I am extremely worried.  My OB wasn't, and she just wants me to come in weekly to see how things are going, but the mere fact that she raised the issue has me extremely concerned.  This is coupled with the fact that my fundal height is actually measuring ahead (26 weeks), so it doesn't comport with the baby being small.

There isn't really a point to this post (is there a point to any of them?), but I'm just venting because I am concerned.  I see my doctor again next Tuesday, but of course I know I will be worried until I see her squirming around and hopefully with a larger head size.

Has anyone had any experience with a baby measuring small (particularly the head)?

I'll leave you with a very cute (in my opinion) photo of baby girl's legs, which she was daintily crossing during our ultrasound.  She was also holding her feet in her hands next to her face - so very flexible!

Thanks, as always, for listening.


8 comments:

  1. I completely understand your fear hon, but try not to worry too much. Your doctors are watching you and baby girl very closely, and I'm sure they will take extra precautions if anything seems off at your next scan. I'm glad you're going back in a week though. Praying everything is just perfect at your next scan. Hang in there and try to take it easy. Hugs hon.

    P.s.I just love that pic. So cute!

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    1. I couldn't get over how cute her little feet look! You are right - I need to just trust that the doctors are looking out for me and hope and pray that things continue to go well and this baby grows more this week. I'm glad I'm going in frequently, too. Thanks for all of your support, as always!

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  2. Her legs are SO cute. I get it. So hard not to worry about everything along the way. But in the end, things will be what they will be whether you worry or not. But I truly hope she's just perfect and everything is ok.

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    1. Jessah, good point. Things will be what they are, no matter how much I worry, and it is easier/better to *not* worry. I will try to remember that.

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  3. I think Blogger may have eaten my comment, or it may have shown up from my husband as I was logged in as him. At any rate - sorry I'm so far behind, but I'm so happy to see how far you've made it and wish you the very best the remainder of your pregnancy.

    I totally understand the fear, but what's hard to remind ourselves is that your OB isn't worried. There are no red flags. While we easily can go to "worst case scenario" there is no indication that this still isn't best case scenario for your little and danty girl.

    Sending love.

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    1. Thank you, Caroline. I have been trying to remind myself that my OB wasn't worried and my high-risk OB didn't even think it was worth mentioning. I think I'll feel better if when I go in next Tuesday, she has grown the expected amount in the last week so that even if she is on the small side, we know she is growing. I also think this is just the inevitable anxiety related to the timing of when we lost L and I have picked this to focus on. Either way, thanks for reminding me that if my OB was really worried, she would have said something about it. Thank you for your comment.

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  4. I just had an ultrasound this week and one of the head measurements was small - the doctor said not to worry about it, that these numbers and percentiles made it look much more scientific than it was, but still. It's hard not to worry after such a loss. I ended up looking through the literature - girls have significantly smaller heads than boys. Plus, depending on which table you take, the percentiles change quite a bit - perhaps not so surprising given that the differences are in fractions of millimeters. Anyway, as long as the high-risk doctors aren't worried, I hope we don't have to, either. Hang in there!

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    1. Oh, thanks for your comment. I'm glad I'm not alone... hang in there. The worrying never stops, does it?

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