My little B has now been on the outside almost as long as she was on the inside. I can hardly believe it. Since my last post, it feels like so many things have changed. She now eats solid food regularly (and some of it actually gets swallowed). She sits up. She crawls. She pulls herself up to standing and does a little Elvis-esque hip movement since she's quite wobbly up on those chubby feet. She makes fun noises and I have no idea where she hears them. She adores story time and music class. She gives "kisses," which are more like open-mouthed slobbers on whatever part of your face she reaches. She is the best!
We've found an equilibrium at home for the time being (I have accepted that things change from day to day, week to week), and I feel like I have a better grip on home life, work, family, etc. For me, this means I am finally running regularly (which makes me feel so much more like myself), packing my lunch to take to work and making meals for the family for dinner, reading at night and while I pump at work (just finished this book and loved it and this is me on Goodreads - I'd love to know what you all are reading), and not totally behind at work. It feels good. I know the next challenge is just around the bend, but I'm embracing the feeling I have today of just loving life.
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| Oh, hi! I'm not napping! |
In a few weeks, our family is joining in the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Remembrance Walk in Littleton, Colorado. It will be a somber day for sure, but I look forward to celebrating Quinn. Two of the women from my support group are joining. Is anyone else in Denver and planning to attend?
One hazard of being on top of things at work is that I spend more time reading blogs. Today I stumbled upon Harry's Joy and Life, Loss and Little Things. It never ceases to amaze me how my sadness at losing Quinn can be tucked away for a few hours or a day and then - boom - it catches me off-guard and takes my breath away all over again. Reading both of these blogs did that for me again, as did a call from my vascular surgeon to have a follow-up appointment to check on my blood clot.
I'm just rambling, but there it is.
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| 8 months! Not lacking in thighs :) |
Oh my GOSH is she something else!? She's marvelous and looks happy and loved and deliciously chunky. Somehow I didn't realize you lived in Colorado! Are you in Denver? I have a baby loss friend who lives there - she doesn't blog, but she may be going to the event. Do you perhaps know Katie, Emma's mom. I won't type her last name here, but man that would be a wild/small world if you did. Glad you're going to be remembering Quinn with other families. I'm sure it will be nice to share her story, her beautiful name, and her baby sister.
ReplyDeleteAlso, gonna be your Goodreads friend - that book sounds good! I'm struggling to get in to "Love in the Time of Cholera" I wouldn't recommend if based of the first 1/4th.
Lastly, we have the same baby carrier which sadly has gone unused. No mountains here! We need to go camping though and just go on some trail hikes and finally put that sucker to use. I bought it for my husband LAST father's day. Realistically we only have another year or so before Mary will want nothing to do with it.
Phew that's a lot of comments. No, wait. . . what marathon are you training for? I'm behind on my training for the Savannah Rock n Roll this coming November. the full seems SO daunting to me. I did 8 yesterday and will do 13 this weekend and everything after that sounds miserable.
Deliciously chunky for sure :) Funny, she is in the 49th percentile for weight. What would she look like if she were in the 90th? Ha. We do live in Colorado and I am in Denver. Maybe I've never mentioned that? I do not know Katie - maybe we should meet!
DeleteLove in the Time of Cholera I loved when I read it, but that was just after college so it has been quite a while.
Here's hoping you get to use the carrier this fall for some hikes. I find it is much more comfortable for longer treks than the Bjorn, although B prefers the Bjorn (but she sleeps in the carrier, which is awesome) .
Marathon - Rim Rock Run in CO National Monument. I just checked and we are racing the same weekend. Woo! I have a long run this weekend, too. The only thing that gets me through them is either running with a friend or trail running. I'm not feeling as motivated as I'd like, even though I feel AMAZING after the runs. Sigh. Wish we lived in the same place and could run together.
Not lacking the thighs. What a beauty she is! I love seeing the photos you post of her. These rainbow baby loves are just so adored.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize you were in Colorado either. I sold the baby carrier that went unused for the entire year because living in the Chicago suburbs also means we lack mountains. I sure miss them!
I'm so glad you're finding your groove and getting back to you a bit. I think that helps with parenting, married life and grief. I also love reading about how much more you guys run than me. Hahah!
Yeah, living in Chicago is probably not conducive to a lot of hiking. I'm glad to be getting some use out of ours although B tolerates it, but doesn't love it. You are right that getting back to 'me' helps with grief and everything else. I'm a much better wife when I exercise, and much happier.
DeleteThose thighs - so squeezy! B is lovely. Thank you for mentioning my blog - I am sorry it made you sad though, I feel the same when I read other peoples' blogs. Sad that this loss happens to so many people in so many different, heartbreaking ways but also comforted that I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the book tip also. My last fiction book was Burial Rites, which was a little hard to get into but the descriptions of Icelandic life are incredible, it's so brutifully (a word I just learned!) written. Recommend.
Oh, my goodness, do not be sorry. It made me sad in a good way, if that makes sense. I hate the idea that loss happens to other people, even though I obviously know it does. I'd like to think we could stop it from happening.
DeleteBurial Rites! I read that and loved it even though I found it quite quirky and somewhat depressing. I had to look up that word. It perfectly describes that book.
What a lovely update. It sounds like you have a great routine! I'm still trying to settle into mine so looking forward to be in the comfortable space you describe. Hikes in the fall sound lovely. I am sorry that sadness creeps into your day as well, but also glad you have the chance to celebrate Quinn with compassionate people too. Remembering is part of life even when the present (and future) are sweet.
ReplyDeleteI'm working on the routine. It doesn't happen every day, but when it does it makes a huge difference so I try to remind myself of that when I'd rather read or catch up on blogs that make my lunch, go for a run, go to bed at a reasonable hour, etc.
DeleteB is beautiful. Hugs to you both!
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks. We love her!
DeleteThe remembrance walk looks wonderful. I wish we lived closer so we could participate! I can't believe your little one is so big already - what a cutie!! Before you know it she will be walking!!!
ReplyDeleteKrystal, I think she will be walking any day now. It is crazy. It was like one day she looked around and realized everyone else was walking, so why shouldn't she?
DeleteI'm glad things are going so well! And your big kid is absolutely adorable!
ReplyDeleteThe balance between work and family life is so important. I'm hoping to get that figured out soonish, too.
Yeah, I've accepted the perfect balance does not exist, but if you can find some balance, it certainly helps. I've been incredibly busy lately so suddenly I'm not feeling like I have it right now, but I suspect it will always ebb and flow. Such is life.
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